Story Excerpt – The Elementalist: Rise of Hara, Chapter 1

5 Dec

Hello, everyone! So I’m still in Summerlin and had a really, really long night (pulled a 13.5 hour shift). Regardless, it’s been a while since I posted a new video for my YouTube channel, so I decided to record an excerpt of my WIP, The Elementalist: Rise of Hara. I actually read it out loud.

Just like I’ve been doing during my edits!

This one starts not at the very beginning of the story but in the protagonist’s first chapter. The story is setup in “parts,” and Part I is told from another main character’s POV to introduce what’s going on elsewhere in the world, leading up to the protagonist’s role–which I introduce in Part II.

I may record the second chapter sometime, as well, as it introduces the shady government agent who approaches the protagonist, Voi. But we’ll see.

I return home in 3 days, after which I’ll be able to get back to my read-out-loud edits. (I’m not doing it during this trip only because I think differently at night and tend to miss things after 10+ hour shifts…)

What did you think?

Do you like the story so far?  Is it something you would be interested in continuing reading?  I have a few people who’ve volunteered to be beta readers already (yay!), whom I’ll be sending out my manuscript to early next year, so it could change based on their feedback. We’ll see.  But that’s what I have for now.

Anyway, thanks for watching/reading/listening!

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2 Responses to “Story Excerpt – The Elementalist: Rise of Hara, Chapter 1”

  1. Anthony Lee Collins December 13, 2016 at 6:21 AM #

    Cool. It’s interesting to delay the protagonist’s entrance. I’m wondering how long Part I is going to be, before we get to Part II. And is it going to be obvious to readers (you know, readers who don’t follow your blog or your YouTube channel :- ) ) that the haven’t met the protag yet…

    Looking forward to more.

    Like

    • T.M. White December 13, 2016 at 4:18 PM #

      Hey, Anthony! Thanks for listening/reading along. 😀

      Yeah, so Part I is long enough to be it’s own short story or novelette, really, at 11K-ish words (which, big picture, is only like 5% of the entire novel). Trust me, I’ve very much been wondering how others will react to the way I’ve framed the story up to this point.

      It’s like, “Here’s something big that’s happening elsewhere in the world (in “Part I: The Diplomat”)…and here’s why we need our protagonist (“Part II: The Initiate”) and what she does about it (Parts III through V named “The Aviatrix,” “The Elementalist,” and “The Agent” respectively).” The main character in Part I, the “diplomat,” plays a big role in the rest of the story, and some scenes are even told from her perspective later, as well as two other main characters that are introduced or mentioned early on. (I’ve been playing around with my blurb because of this setup and am trying to show, briefly, how these character’s roles are related.)

      Not the usual way to go about opening a story…so I guess y’all betas will be the judges as to whether it works or not! 😉

      Like

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