The Encounter

28 Oct

It’s #FlashFriday again, and the #FridayFictioneers are writing and sharing their 100-word(+/-) stories over at Madison Woods’ blog.  You can check out some of their stories and even share one of your own, if you’re interested.

So far I’ve typically used Madison’s inspiration images as a prompt, but yesterday I came across a soundtrack that I really liked and wanted to write a scene based off that.  Here’s a YouTube video of the piece that inspired this 100-word short for this week, from the Tomb Raider: Underworld soundtrack by Colin O’Malley, supervised by Troels Brun Folmann:

I found an inspiration image, as well:

I don’t know if that particular jellyfish is stingless (relevant later), but I thought it was pretty. 🙂 Anyway, it was just for inspiration.

Oh yeah–and Lois is back! 😀


The Encounter

Lois plunged through an underwater tunnel to escape the imploded ruins above.  She burped out bubbles, anxious to resurface.

A blue glow beckoned from a leftward passage and she surged towards it.  Rough stone abruptly fell into a formless void, leaving her floating.  Overhead, a great mass of delicate translucent creatures pulsed with light, gorging and relapsing to propel themselves gracefully through the water.

The transfixing beauty involuntarily tranquilized Lois, subduing her need for air.  She watched, unhurried, as a jellyfish drifted by; its tentacles brushed her face.  Invigorated, she shoved water behind her, breaching through the creatures without fear.



20 Responses to “The Encounter”

  1. Stephen A. Watkins October 28, 2011 at 10:28 AM #

    Nice. The soundtrack piece is atmospheric and beautiful, as is the image.

    I couldn’t help but think, however, that the siren glow of the jellyfish must’ve lead our poor heroine to her doom.


    • Tiyana October 28, 2011 at 11:46 AM #

      Maybe! It would have been cool to do more with the ending, make it even more ambiguous as to what took place between Lois and the jellyfish. But those 100 words! Gah…it’s tough sometimes.

      Thanks for reading, Stephen. 🙂


  2. Madison Woods October 28, 2011 at 10:36 AM #

    What beautiful imagery. This sentence in particular:

    “Overhead a great mass of delicate translucent creatures pulsed with light, gorging and relapsing to propel themselves gracefully through the water.”

    That was beautifully written 🙂


    • Tiyana October 28, 2011 at 11:51 AM #

      Thanks, Madison!

      You know, I should have tried and worked the dynamite in, too, at least as it pertains to the ruins. Too bad I didn’t think of it before. :/


  3. Douglas MacIlroy October 28, 2011 at 12:18 PM #

    Hi Tiyana,

    Dynamite would have made marmalade of your beautiful jellyfish serenade. I enjoyed your scene as it was. Very nice.




    • Tiyana October 28, 2011 at 12:45 PM #

      Marmalade…lol, I love that word! ^_^

      Thanks for reading, Doug. 🙂


  4. Russell October 28, 2011 at 12:27 PM #

    I found myself holding my breath with Lois. Nicely done.


    • Tiyana October 28, 2011 at 12:51 PM #

      Cool! Thanks, Russell. 🙂


  5. susielindau October 28, 2011 at 12:36 PM #

    I would love to breath underwater! A great fantasy and your description are wonderful~


    • Tiyana October 28, 2011 at 12:52 PM #

      Thanks, Susie!

      You know, whenever I have dreams that I’m underwater I can always breathe! It’s strange.


  6. Jay Noel October 28, 2011 at 12:39 PM #

    She’s dead! You killed Lois. How dare you.


  7. kdmccrite October 28, 2011 at 1:06 PM #

    Lovely, lovely little bit of story here. You have great use of images and emotions. I’d like to see the opening a little stronger, though. Perhaps a little more ethereal and less literal to draw us into that lovely, if frightening, underwater experience. Great job!!


    • Tiyana October 28, 2011 at 11:09 PM #

      Thanks, KD!

      I agree: the opening could be stronger. That was the one area I really wanted to squeeze more into. Couldn’t figure something out!

      On another note, an implosion isn’t really all that ethereal, and neither is having to plunge into water not knowing if there is another way out; those pretty stark experiences, I think. But it would have been neat to explore that more–play up the contrast between “bam! implosion” and “ah, I could drown!” followed by that sudden ethereal serenity in the water.

      Probably could have made that happen with some extra words, but definitely not in 100…


  8. Robin Hawke October 28, 2011 at 1:38 PM #

    Gorgeous scene, Robin

    Read the comment above, believe I agree. The power is in the second paragraph.


    • Tiyana October 28, 2011 at 11:15 PM #

      Thanks, Robin! It’s good to know what really caught people and what was like, “Meh.” 🙂


  9. A Wee Adventure October 29, 2011 at 7:19 AM #

    That went wonderfully with the music although I do have to agree with Stephen, did feel like it was going to end with death for our heroine!


    • Tiyana October 29, 2011 at 11:16 AM #

      This is interesting. May I ask what led you to believe this? If there was something specific I said. (And Stephen, too, if he’s still reading, heh.)


  10. The Lime October 29, 2011 at 8:30 AM #

    YAY!! I am so glad Lois is BACK!


    • Tiyana October 29, 2011 at 11:18 AM #

      LoL – I thought you might appreciate that. 😀


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