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A Little Advice?

14 Mar

>Hey, peoples.  I was wondering if I could get your opinion on something.

I’ve been putting it off (my other versions weren’t so great), but I finally wrote a presentable ”blurb” for my WIP.  Got some perspective and came back to it.  So far it’s the best I’ve managed to come up with.  Here’s what I have:


Voi Román is in a pickle.  Suffering from a rare psychophysiological condition known as emelesia, she faces a grim fact of life: By her twenty-fifth birthday, the urche supplements she takes will not be enough to manage her condition; soon, she will need to be admitted to a mental asylum.  Well, she’s twenty-four and a half now, and to make matters worse, her aeroplane tour company, AeroTaxi, has undoubtedly seen better days.
Running on her last drop of optimism, a possible solution presents itself when a questionable government agent visits her home.  He claims there is a cure for her condition, though it comes with a price.  Work for us, and we’ll work with you, he promises.
Tentative at first, Voi embarks on a journey of self-discovery.  Before she knows it, she is swept up in a whirlwind of arcane occult practices, experimental aerocraft technology, aerial espionage, and international intrigue.  It’s enough to make a girl go mad.  Though, Voi’s sanity is not the only thing she risks losing…

It’s at 169 words, which I hope isn’t too long.  I’ve got a shorter version that’s only a sentence long under my “Element 7″ tab, and maybe that one could be a little shorter, too.  Not 100% sure of length guidelines.  (I’ve heard anywhere between 75 to 200 words for blurbs, at least.)  Anyways, I was hoping to put this one up there, as well, to give folks (and myself) a better idea of the story.  I hope that isn’t too preemptive of me, considering I’m still in the editing process (halfway through now, not including rewrites). >_<

Any suggestions? :D

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